Showing posts with label supermarkets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label supermarkets. Show all posts
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Thursday, 10 November 2011
Boys will be...
Just met an old friend in a supermarket and she told me her daughter has a beauty clinic. Apparently, she used to make up a lot of men who were professionals such as judges and doctors to look like women.
They would come in the front door as Arthur and exit the back one as Martha.
She stopped doing it when a man did something unmentionably disgusting and she scolded him and he liked it!
They would come in the front door as Arthur and exit the back one as Martha.
She stopped doing it when a man did something unmentionably disgusting and she scolded him and he liked it!
Wednesday, 26 October 2011
Speechless
Bought DVD of King's Speech at Sainsbury's.
Checkout girl (CG): So you like the King's Speech then?
Me: Yes
CG: I saw it but I wasn't so sure about it though.
Me: What sort of films do you like then?
CG: I have to watch what I'm told: usually Spongebob Squarepants.
Me: What other films have you enjoyed?
CG: I don't know any more.
Checkout girl (CG): So you like the King's Speech then?
Me: Yes
CG: I saw it but I wasn't so sure about it though.
Me: What sort of films do you like then?
CG: I have to watch what I'm told: usually Spongebob Squarepants.
Me: What other films have you enjoyed?
CG: I don't know any more.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Helloooooo?!
So I'm loading my purchases on the conveyor belt at Asda and the girl asks: "Want any help?"
"Yes please. Can you double bag those two bottles of wine for me please? I wouldn't like them to fall through the bottom of the bag and break" (delivered with a smile.no response)
Her: "Are you walking?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "I'll double bag them for you, it'll be safer"
Pause
Me: Can you double bag them? It'll be safer"
Pause
Her: "That's what I'm doing"
Me: Oh so you are. Good idea. Thanks"
"Yes please. Can you double bag those two bottles of wine for me please? I wouldn't like them to fall through the bottom of the bag and break" (delivered with a smile.no response)
Her: "Are you walking?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "I'll double bag them for you, it'll be safer"
Pause
Me: Can you double bag them? It'll be safer"
Pause
Her: "That's what I'm doing"
Me: Oh so you are. Good idea. Thanks"
Saturday, 1 October 2011
Me £11-26 Tesco 0
The other day, I went into Tesco and bought 2 bottles of Spanish Ruede white wine for £10. Or rather I didn't.
There was a sign saying get 2 for £10 but when I got home I found the twots had charged me £15-18 which works out at £7 something per bottle.
I wasn't having that.
I went in today with a face like Hitler when he got his (no I can't use that simile). Well I had a face like an angry farmer's arse. I've seen pictures of those on the internet somewhere. I'm unlucky that way.
So I collared a terrified assistant manager and demanded he follow me to the wines and spirits which upon seeing my rictus expression, he dropped what he was doing (a case of Marmite - made a helluva mess) and meekly followed close behind.
I pointed at the sign that said 2 for £10 and I said: "Now son, 'ow much for 2 bottles of that wine?"
He looked at me, then looked round for help. I said somewhat more stentorianly "'ow much for two bottles of that wine?"
"Er, £10?"
I said: "That's what it says but look a little closer.
He bent down gingerly (what's ginger gotta do with bending? - don't answer)
I jabbed an angry digit at the offer closing date which was September the Bloody 6th!
"That's when it finished and you charged me the full amount. That sign should not be there"
"Oh" he said.
"Oh" I said, more sarcastically than his "Oh"
"I do apologise. Come with me sir" So I went with him this time and he led me to a young lady in customer service who he ordered to sort out the cash return.
She jabbed at a calculator and announced "We owe you £11-26" sir. Tesco refund double what you have been overcharged. She's got her sums wrong but that's par for the course these days and I wasn't gonna be arsed pointing it out.
I didn't know that, so that's a tip. Look for out-of-date offers with signs still up and buy hundreds of whatever's on sale, then go next day and get double your money back.
Bingo! Back of the net! Resulto!
By the way. I wonder how many customers not quite as eagle eyed as me got screwed and never knew? Probably bloody dozens.
Fellow shoppers, always check your receipts,.
There was a sign saying get 2 for £10 but when I got home I found the twots had charged me £15-18 which works out at £7 something per bottle.
I wasn't having that.
I went in today with a face like Hitler when he got his (no I can't use that simile). Well I had a face like an angry farmer's arse. I've seen pictures of those on the internet somewhere. I'm unlucky that way.
So I collared a terrified assistant manager and demanded he follow me to the wines and spirits which upon seeing my rictus expression, he dropped what he was doing (a case of Marmite - made a helluva mess) and meekly followed close behind.
I pointed at the sign that said 2 for £10 and I said: "Now son, 'ow much for 2 bottles of that wine?"
He looked at me, then looked round for help. I said somewhat more stentorianly "'ow much for two bottles of that wine?"
"Er, £10?"
I said: "That's what it says but look a little closer.
He bent down gingerly (what's ginger gotta do with bending? - don't answer)
I jabbed an angry digit at the offer closing date which was September the Bloody 6th!
"That's when it finished and you charged me the full amount. That sign should not be there"
"Oh" he said.
"Oh" I said, more sarcastically than his "Oh"
"I do apologise. Come with me sir" So I went with him this time and he led me to a young lady in customer service who he ordered to sort out the cash return.
She jabbed at a calculator and announced "We owe you £11-26" sir. Tesco refund double what you have been overcharged. She's got her sums wrong but that's par for the course these days and I wasn't gonna be arsed pointing it out.
I didn't know that, so that's a tip. Look for out-of-date offers with signs still up and buy hundreds of whatever's on sale, then go next day and get double your money back.
Bingo! Back of the net! Resulto!
By the way. I wonder how many customers not quite as eagle eyed as me got screwed and never knew? Probably bloody dozens.
Fellow shoppers, always check your receipts,.
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
It's great in supermarkets
I saw a weird thing at the next till. A baby asleep eating an ice lolly. I was mesmerised. It was on a par with that fat woman I saw whose dirty joggers were almost hanging off, revealing a substantial amount of an arse that Cyril Smith would have been proud of. /me shivers.
Nice try
At the checkout counter one girl studiously ignored me as she gassed to her checkout colleague who said: "He asked me if I had a pen. I said yes. He said "Write your phone number on this piece of paper then". She didn't but nice move.
Ayring their views
Just overheard in Sainsbury's.
Woman looking at Pam Ayres' new book: "Has nobody shot her yet?"
Quite.
Woman looking at Pam Ayres' new book: "Has nobody shot her yet?"
Quite.
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