Effin Customer Service

I phoned a bus company information line this afternoon and a bloke with a broad Lancashire accent answered the phone.
I said "I'm enquiring about the diversion arrangements because of the Tory Conference in Manchester. Can you tell me where the Number ** Bus will stop now?"
"Just one moment sir" said the employee.
I then heard the following:
"He wants ter know about  diversions 'cos of Tory Conference. Wheers that information?"
"It's here"

"I've been fuckin' lookin' for that bit o' paper all day!"

He returned to the phone and said sweetly.
"I have the information to hand now sir."
He told me what I needed to know and I asked for more information on the route which he provided after once again consulting his mate.
"The reason I know the answer is because my mate here travels that route every day" he said.

God help people enquiring about a different route then!